A Tour of East Williamsburg Bizarro Businesses, Episode 4

Oh, my precious little neighborhood, gotta love it.

I live in a little bit of a no-man's land over here, my closest restaurants are a divey diner and a McDonalds (although a nice little hip cafe just opened, thank god). With no good bodegas or supermakets in sight, I was super excited when a new dollar store opened up 2 blocks away, what kind of goodies would there be inside?

I was initially intrigued by this sign on the window promoting all the things you could possibly need for a luau party.

Sweet, cause I have been DYING to have a luau party. Once inside, I started in the food aisles, and came upon some dollar cereal. Is this Honey Nut Cheerios? Oh, no, pardon me, Honey Nut Scooters! Next to some Honey Nut Cheerios.

Then I was thinking, you know what would be totally awesome, if they had some Oxyclean. Oh wait, its TOTALLY AWESOME OXYGEN BASE CLEANER.

They had a whole aisle dedicated to stuff for weddings. Cause nothing says classy wedding like stuff from the dollar store.

Nearly bought this for a bridal shower for my friend Sam, obedience training whistle for your new husband:

And finally, as promised, the luau supplies section. Even better than I could have imagined.

Drunk guys on Friday night

Friday night from Rachel Hill on Vimeo.

A Tour of East Williamsburg Bizarro Businesses, Episode 3

Oh you know you have been missing this segment of my blog...

So today in America is the day that you have to file your taxes. My parents accountant still does mine, cause I am useless like that. Aaaanyways around New Years this new tax place opened up on Graham:

Sorry for the far away picture, I didn't want to startle random hipster guy hanging out in front. So its a little weird enough that its a tax place but also a travel agency... I get it, real estate is expensive, let's bundle several businesses into one storefront at once, cause once you find out what your refund is going to be, how about blowing it all on a trip to Atlantic city (Caesar's Express busses leaving daily)? Sounds good to me, though I'm gonna blow my refund on... rent, probably. BUT the real hilarity of this place lies in their promo people who have been stalking the Graham subway station (and Lorimer, it seems, where the below photo was taken), in the following outfit:

Not like this could ever be a good look for anyone, but it really was sad... there they were, through snow, sleet, and rain in their ugly draped blue velour schmatta (yiddish for "rag," my mom loved using this one to describe the clothes I would wear in high school during the punk rock years) and foam Statue of Liberty hats handing out $50 coupons for your tax preparation. They even had blue tarps to wrap around themselves for when it rained, so basically they ended up looking like crazy homeless people with novelty Statue of Liberty hats. People took note of them for the first week or two, but after that, everyone, including myself, made their best attempt to ignore them and their coupons. I would pull out my phone or look down at my ipod as I exited the train station, hoping that I would not have to make eye contact with the Statue. Please, no, I don't need a coupon, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Today I snapped a farewell picture of the Statue guy (most of the time it was a woman) as I am hoping April 15th will be the end of his reign haunting my train stop. Goodbye, Liberty tax guy, I don't know what you did to deserve having to stand in the snow in that outfit for three months but I hope that it paid off.

It snowed today

It snowed lots, to be precise. NYC public schools closed for the first time in 5 years. I, however, still went to my internship, like a good girl. It was damn cold.

This is what it looked like when I looked out my window in the morning:

Then, once I got outside my door:


Chip the scooter was hiding under his cover.




Wahhhhh I am cold...


This taxi driver is probably PISSED.


But you know who is enjoying today? These two:



The end.

A Tour of East Williamsburg Bizarro Businesses, Part 2

This has to be one of my favorite businesses on Graham Avenue. First, let's start with the name: Kitty's Cards 'n Things. Emphasis on the "Things." Though it first appears to just be a simple card and photo shop, Kitty's Cards 'n Things is provides a plethora of goods and services. Along with "greeting cards," "back packs," "passport photos," and "video transfer," signs on the door claim that Kitty's also offers XXX and Kung Fu DVD's (starting at $5.99, a bargain!), watch bands and batteries, and if you go inside, you will also discover a large selection of bongs and pipes. Perhaps this is what is meant by "Gifts and Toys." They should mention this is gifts for your stoner cousin who goes to high school in New Jersey. Who, while you're there, would also totally appreciate some lottery tickets. Come to think of it, I feel like this is the kind of business a stoner kid from New Jersey would probably open.

On a somewhat related topic, it has been noted by myself that East Williamsburg local bar Sweet Ups now has a sign declaring it is open at noon every day. Considering they don't really serve food there, what exactly is the point of this? Are we hipsters unemployed in such quantities that we have been driven to drink at all hours of the day? The evidence, as several daytime walk-bys have suggested, points to not yet. But maybe soon.

A Tour of East Williamsburg Bizarro Businesses, Part 1

I live in a corner of Brooklyn often referred to the "3rd Stop" or "East Williamsburg." Technically I live in Greenpoint according to my zip code but my closest L train stop is the Graham Ave. stop. It is a mix of 20-something and 30-something hipsters, old Italian people, and Poles. The latter two were obviously here first. Naturally, the make-up of businesses in the area generally reflects this mix. Next to newcomer coffee shops like Variety and boutiques like Treehouse, you will have places like Grande Memorial, for all your funeral and tombstone needs ("For 24-hour service call Jerry!" a sign proclaims). But perhaps because of the changing nature of the neighborhood, Grande Memorial is maybe not getting as much business as it used to... not enough 20-something kids OD'ing on heroin unfortunately. So what does Grande Memorial do? They decide to supplement their tombstone business by SELLING BREAD. Take a good look at photo number two below and you can see fresh loaves of French Rustica nestled alongside a stone statue of Jesus:





Good thinking, Grande Memorial. Now next time I am browsing tombstones I'll remember to pick up a couple baguettes.

Stay tuned for more installments of WEIRD EAST WILLIAMSBURG BUSINESSES.